It was late morning and I beckoned for my son to come into the camper to get dressed for the day. It took a few reminders and then he popped up onto the bed, full of energy and full of life.
I repeated to him, “It’s time to get dressed.” He started jumping around, playing his version of hard to get. Again, I said, “Let’s get your clothes on so that we can go enjoy the day.” He started flipping around. Getting his feet and legs close by to indicate he was ready, and then quickly pulling them away as I went to grab his feet.
Getting frustrated, I implored, “Why are you making this so difficult?”
He stopped suddenly, obviously surprised by my question.
“I’m not making it difficult, I’m making it fun.”
I can say with complete honesty, that this one statement he made has completely transformed how I interact with my son.
It also changes how I interact with people in my life.
Just because someone isn’t doing what I think they should, doesn’t mean they are difficult or that they are trying to make my life hard. They have a completely different perspective and reality that they are living from.
This also means, that I don’t have to change them, to fit into my box of how they should be. In fact, oftentimes, when I’m really present with the other human, it’s obvious how I can interact with them.
At times, I need to simply listen. Other times, I need to step in and stop a downward spiral of shame, doom, or gloom. Sometimes it makes sense to just keep moving forward, one step at a time, trusting that wisdom will show me what to do next.
If you struggle with connection with your patients, your family, or people around you, I’d love to share with you a workshop coming up (early 2026).