“My body is betraying me,” she said. “It’s like no matter what I do, it still hurts, it still aches. I’m still exhausted and nothing I seem to do changes anything.”
“What if your body isn’t betraying you? But you’ve been betraying your body?” I replied with curiosity.
This is a fictional conversation, as I’ve never said this outright to another human being. But I have begun to get more curious about this concept of betrayal and our bodies.
I know I have spent much of my life essentially lugging this body of mine around with me. I wanted to climb, work, sleep, eat, garden, move, travel, bike, run, and hike. And I needed my body to do these things, but I never really checked in with her about it. I never really asked if she wanted to run a marathon, or more relevant, if she could run a marathon.
Was she actually strong enough and stable enough to handle the kind of impact that comes with running 26.2 continuous miles on asphalt? In 2007, the answer to the unasked question was no. This became obvious as I spent the last 8 miles with terrible pain in my hip, however still managing (aka FORCING myself) to run/walk until I crossed the finish line.
Even though that day my body was telling me, “STOP!”, I was completely unable to hear it. My thoughts reiterated what I believe was the most important thing: finishing the race.
So I finished it. You know, mind over matter.
I also struggled with severe pain over the next several years, until I opted for surgery to fix the issue.
That recovery still took several years to be 100% back to normal.
Now I see how I was betraying my body. I’m not beating myself up about this, and I don’t think you should either. I just actually believed that I knew my body better than my body knew itself.
These days, I’m more in partnership with my body. I’m listening to the signs, the subtle wants for movement or rest. I still push my fitness at times on my bike, but I do it in a very different way. It’s when I really, really want to, and my body almost leads the way.
Because I can’t go anywhere without my body and you can’t either.
Let’s work with our bodies, not against them.
This is what holistic physical therapy, in Louisville, KY, at The Middle Way is all about.
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