This is how I used to be when I noticed I was stressed. I started to get worried, because stress is bad for you, of course. My initial awareness of my stress would usually escalate from there, because I would think about all the other things that I still had to do, which I haven’t even addressed yet because I’ve been so busy doing everything else.
This was usually followed by thoughts of self-deprecation. Since of course, if I was more organized, more efficient, smarter, prettier, stronger and better at setting boundaries, I wouldn’t have put myself in this position again.
However, since I’m not good at any of those things, or simply good enough in general, I’ve done it to myself again.
My inner world of stressful thinking would escalate and spiral out of control until finally I reached the last straw and I would break down and start crying on the couch. The release of the tears would allow me a chance to reset and look at things from a calmer perspective.
I’d vow not to allow myself to get back to that place again…but alas I would inevitably be right back there days or weeks later. It’s funny now looking back, because I knew all the right things to do. I knew about meditation, adaptogenic herbs, breathwork, nutrition, and exercise. And yet….I just stayed stuck in the cycle of overwhelm, stress, and mental craziness.
It’s no wonder I struggled with stomach and digestive issues that seemed to be terrible during these times. Bloating, pain, gas. These were just part of the norm, even with a dairy and gluten free diet.
I can’t tell you how much time I spent looking for solutions. Even more than I had already found because clearly those weren’t the right answers.
It turns out that the more I searched the more reasons I found that I wasn’t doing things right. I learned about more herbs, essential oils, better breathwork, and even more effective sleep routines. All this amazing information simply helped to reinforce the thoughts in my head that I was doing everything all wrong.
Eventually, I came to see I was doing everything wrong. But not in the ways I thought.
The only real thing I was doing wrong was to ignore my own guidance and hand it over to hundreds and thousands of people I had never met simply because they wrote something on the internet or hosted a course.
Then I found people who were living in a completely different way. They were collaborating and sharing and open to learning, but also very connected to themselves and their own wisdom in a way I had thought only was possible through long, arduous years of studying buddhism in a hut on top of the Himalayan mountains.
Through these connections, I reconnected to myself and found my own instruction manual for health, well-being, and life.
The key is that this instruction manual is for me, because my body and my life is different from yours. You have your own.
You’ve probably heard it before too, but have likely gotten used to ignoring it for someone else’s “expertise.” Fortunately for us all, no matter how long you have ignored your own manual – it’s always there ready to show you what to do next. You simply need to know where to look.
And it’s not on the internet. It’s not in someone else’s head or someone else’s book or someone else’s kitchen.
It’s in you.
It has always been there and it will always be there.
Want to find it?
Because even amidst the wildest stress storm, you can be okay.