For the longest time, I didn’t know what to do to stop the pain in my back.
I am 41 years old. I’m a physical therapist. I’m trained in yoga, I’m trained in mindfulness, I’m trained in functional nutrition, I’m trained in manual therapy, needling, pain science and much more. To say that I’m well versed in the world of pain relief is an understatement.
However, nearly every morning for the last several years, I woke up with severe pain in my thoracic spine. It literally felt like if I moved too much my spine would break.
I did yoga and movement most mornings, I continued to exercise, I sought help from friends and colleagues with various treatments and exercise.
Things helped in small ways, but I’d continue to wake up with the pain.
And then magically, one morning, I was on my yoga mat, doing my prescribed exercises.
I heard a voice in me scream, “I don’t want to do these!”
And for some reason, in that moment, I listened.
And instead of exercises, I laid on my mat in child’s pose.
Then I got up and went about my day.
Now, nothing dramatically changed with my pain the next day. However, this is the day that I started to have a different relationship with my body.
Then the following day, I asked myself this question. “If I didn’t know what to do for my body, what would I do?”
And the answer that came to me, was “Dance.” I grabbed my phone, went to spotify, picked a song, and I danced alone in my kitchen that morning.
The next morning, I still had pain. But I was less bothered by it. And again I danced. Moving my body in any way that it felt inspired to move.
And over the next 2 weeks, I began to notice so much more in my body. It’s like the phone line that had been cut for decades finally opened back up. I began to notice how much I was gripping my fists throughout the day and everytime I was thinking stressful thoughts, I immediately felt it in my body.
As I noticed the tension arise, it was easy to let it go. There was no judgement attached to it. It was as effortless as water floating downstream. Something had clicked and I finally heard all the ways that my body had been trying to talk to me and she was so grateful to be heard.
That’s all it took.
Now I wake up every morning without pain.
Sometimes I do yoga. Sometimes I sit and write. Sometimes I dance. Sometimes I sit and think. Sometimes I get up and go right into drinking coffee, making breakfast, and putting the dishes away.
But I wake up without pain.
Not becuase of any specific protocol, exercise routine, or diet change.
Because I could finally hear my body, and I listened to what it was saying.
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