The Heart Experiment Gets Real

Suddenly my cute, little heart experiment got real.  When I began the experiment, I believed that following the heart would be simple because I had really begun to notice how different the feeling was between my heart and my intellect. In most situations, I was able to follow my heart fairly well. Not perfect, but perfection is rarely my goal.

The reason I chose this as an experiment and not a way of life, is because I want to have the power to choose how to live my life and not be a slave to someone else’s philosophies or rules. I also wanted to see for myself, with a genuine curiousity, if my heart was my best guide.

Then the moment came where I got to test this “cute, little” experiment of mine.

I needed to do training to continue my side job of home health physical therapy. I hadn’t been working with patients in home health for quite a while, but it felt safe to keep the job for “just in case.” You know, if something else dropped with my business, or the hospital where I work didn’t need me as much.

However, when I’m honest with myself. The truth is that I don’t enjoy home health. I could list a million reasons, but the validation isn’t necessary. I don’t enjoy it. Period.  BUT, I “thought” it was a means to the end for more financial security.

This thought was entirely intellectually and egoically driven. It was not my heart at all. My heart has made its view on the job mightily obvious time and time again, however, I had become quite good at ignoring it. Maybe you can relate?

I kept trying to get myself to do the training and I literally could not bring myself to do it. I was only 90 minutes long and I would have been paid to do it, but I always had a reason to do something else. It seems that my inner guide and heart was still hard at work here, even when outwardly it appeared I was ignoring my heart’s pull.

I gave myself some time to sit with it. See for myself what was the “right” thing to do. Then I woke up on a Wednesday morning and gave my notice of termination to my boss.

The relief was immense. The heavy backpack that I didn’t realize I was carrying gently fell to the floor.

More beautiful things followed, and immediately after I said “no” to this job, I said yes to working with someone I was so excited to work with free from any hesitation.

Here is the most ovious truth that I’ve now seen. The only way to truly know something, is to see it myself. I’ve heard the beautiful quote at least a thousand times, “when one door closes, another door opens.”

Yet, the ego and intellect always has a reason to convince you to doubt. I fell for it, time and time again. Until one day, I didn’t.

Are curious about what life would be like if your heart was leading you?

Because your heart has been waiting for you, calling you quietly, without any hard feelings for being ignored over these years or even decades.