A favorite saying of mine, that I’ve shared for years, “The root of all suffering is the resistance to what is.”  I have always intellectually understood this, but I’ve had two recent experiences to share in which I finally learned this for myself.

The first will probably seem very familiar to anyone who’s been a parent.  

That evening’s events were not uncommon for my son.  Waking up frequently, having trouble sleeping, needing to touch another human being to fall back asleep.  On this particular night, I was about to lose it. The fatigue in my body felt insurmountable. I was nearly certain that I must be doing something (or everything) wrong as a parent. I was miserable, the only thoughts swirling in my mind were ones of personal insults, negative accusations, woe is me, etc.  

Until, I remembered a meditation I’ve guided others through involving reconnecting with your 5 senses.  

So I listened.

And what I heard was the sounds of my young infant son breathing.

I looked.

And what I saw was an adorable little human being holding on to my finger with his butt sticking up in the air.

I felt.

The touch of his soft fingers on my hand and the delicate blanket that covered his body.

Suddenly, those are the things that became the reality of my experience.  And it turned out to be an incredibly peaceful evening.  It only took a few moments for the evening to transform.

The second experience was only a few days ago.  It was Christmas Eve, my family and I had driven the 6 hours to a Chicago Suburb for the holiday, and my husband was barely recovering from the flu and I now had it.

The body aches and head pain were quite intense.  Whatever part of me that was touching the bed or pillow hurt. But then something really interesting happened. With my aches and pains, I was also experiencing a fever.  My clothes were soaked the following morning as my body alternated from a deep sweat to the cold chills every 5-20 minutes.  But every single time I got the cold chills…it felt invigorating.  

I actually enjoyed the feeling, while also experiencing the aches and pains in my hips and head.  

Joy and pain, simultaneously.  

I’m not sure if you see the similarities and differences between these two scenarios.  The similarities are probably fairly obvious…finding presence within the moment is what led to peace and joy.

Yes, that matters.  

But the thing I want to highlight is the difference in the way that I got there.

In the first scenario, I had to know to prompt myself.  The prompting worked and brought me to joy, but it was simply to avoid all the negative things swirling in my head. I needed tools to get myself out of the negative place.

In the second scenario, no prompting or tools were necessary.  Instead, I just never avoided the aches and pains of being sick and trusted my body to do what it needed to do.  And then I naturally found joy in the moment.

Because I never resisted the illness, I didn’t suffer.  

And no…this doesn’t mean you never do anything.

But that’s for another blog ;)