It’s a question that I felt I had heard before, like little whispers in the background of my life, but never seemed to notice it. Then I saw it written in black ink, impossible to miss, as if someone had highlighted the words for me in Andrea Gibson’s book, “You Better Be Lightening.”
I don’t know if it’s true. But it feels like it. It feels like the warm wool hand knit blanket that my husband has been holding for me, waiting, while I’m out in the winter weather searching for the missing cure of my latest ailment.
These words are telling me to come back home. KC, everything you need is actually already here.
I can’t tell you how much of my life I’ve spent out there looking for what I was certain was necessary in order to be whole, complete, unbroken. I was sure it was a worthy pursuit. The joy promised on the other side of this journey was equal to that of the holy grail.
As we’ve been told extensively in various ways, “Everything worth doing is hard.” (Alex Hormozi). So bring it on, I said, at least to myself. I didn’t let anyone else know it felt hard, of course. That’d be silly.
Every door that I opened to “better” health, lead down a hallway that had 20 more doors all beckoning me to open them. These doors had convincing signs promising what lies behind that door will the the missing puzzle piece to my wellness puzzle, and of course, will finally make me whole.
It’s funny how many of those doors I opened. And no matter how many times I opened those doors, I would only find disappointment and empty promises with no real impactful change in my life.
This is the place where I can begin to blame society for all the reasons that I looked in every wrong place for my happiness and my wholeness. Yet, for some reason that doesn’t seem all that helpful.
So I won’t blame anyone else for this.
I simply believed something that wasn’t true.
I believed that I was broken and incomplete AND the only way to fix this brokenness was by something outside of me. And every time my body hurt, my stomach was tied in knots, I was feeling stressed, angry, or sad, more fuel was added to this fire of misunderstood brokenness.
So, what if the words that Andrea Gibson wrote are true?
You don’t have to healed to be whole.
You don’t have to be happy to be whole.
You don’t have to be pain free to be whole.
You don’t have to get out of bed to be whole.
You don’t have to eat only fruits and vegetables to be whole.
You don’t have to exercise 6 days a week to be whole.
You don’t have to have a partner to be whole.
You don’t have to do anything to be whole, because you already are.
Then, how would you live your life differently?
From my heart to yours,
KC